smile with tears

Today, I have my enjoyable day with my workmate. We chat a lot and have many many of funny topics that we cannot talk and behave during working hour. Or maybe you can say, we are crazy gang.

But~ something had happened before my 'happy hour'. I have received a message from my sister. She said my grandmother are on critical stage, maybe..... she cannot hold on anymore.. My mood was dropped straight under the mountain. I have told myself, I have to accept it! I have to accept it! but, I couldn't stop my tears from leaving my eyes.

Luckily, that time my department was empty. No one is there, so i just sit at my department and trying to calm myself. That time, my brain floats out many of my memories and pictures with my grandmother. My grandmother very take care of me even i just come to visit her not more than 10 times in one year. Me, as her grandson, I admit that I did not take my responsibility to care on her, give love to her. Every time when we eat lunch, dinner or whatever was, I know, she is looking at me. I can feel the love from her, she always give the best thing for me. I... I... really love her.

I keep on thinking thinking and thinking, until a customer search for my service, I continue my work. It's fun when having a crazy night and laughing all the time today, in stead, I was trying to control my tears from falling down.

Here I come again, my tears, my naughty tears wanted to come out playing again. This time, I really cannot control them. I wish I could run infront of her and say, I love you, grandma, please, be strong... I love you....